How do you fall in love with a man?I guess thats a simple question without any simple answers.But i did fall in love with a man.In my 20s,so maybe im a late bloomer.A man I found in the middle of a time when for me, love had become a dagger.My frank.By far my favorite man.His voice found me in the middle of a pretty devastating heartbreak.Im a cliche i guess,cause thats how everyone seems to find him.
But it was different for me.For me the pain wasn’t like the ones on mtv videos or movies. It wasn’t about ‘to the left’ or a ’round of applause.I didn’t want to go cry in the rain while dancing,thinking of what id lost.Mine felt like an inevitability.Something id always been afraid would happen,actually happened.And everything reminded me of it.And thats when i found him,franky.And his beautiful poems.and that beautiful man became my preacher,preaching a gospel I never knew I needed.
My favorite song on that album has to be “self control”.Its a beautiful peice.About frank and his ex lover.Him Begging her to keep a place for him in her heart,even if she has a new lover. Pleading for sex one last time even though he knows theyre other guys coming’spitting game’.I guess its a sad promise to ask of someone, to always keep you in their heart even when they move on.In “nights” when he says he says that he doesnt want none of this ‘kumbaya shit’,he just wants to feel the ‘nana’.That he’s fom a long shift at work and doesnt want to hear her shit,doesnt want to spend the night,he just wants her body.And in “close to you” he says he isnt devastated that she left him but he just wishes she could have held his hand through it.Thats crazy,being ok with someone leaving you but you want them to be there for you through it.
Thats why i love him so much,the greys.Giving a voice to a lot of complicated thoughts and feelings that even i had a hard time admitting to myself.All the things i thought would make me sad ,didnt make me sad.And all the things i never thought id care about,id ever worry about seem to play in my mind on a loop.There’s so much i could write about this beautiful man.And his pen that turns ink into gold.I honestly think he should win a nobel prize for literature for just how beautifully he writes his music. But all lovers think those they love are the greatest thing to ever walk this Earth and maybe I’m no different.